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How To Handle Hurt

“Nobody loves me.”

“Nobody understands me.”

“everybody hurts me.”

“My relationships are hurting.”

“I am lost, I don’t know how to handle this hurt.”

Do these sound familiar? These are the phrases all of us have used at some point in our life.

Our mentor says, “This world is an expression of God. Our purpose is to find God in different aspects of life.”

The purpose of this blog is to explore the reasons for the hurt that we feel in our lives and find ways to go beyond it.

As you are reading this blog, do an experiment. Think about a time in your life when you were hurt, remember that time, and without thinking too much about what happened, quickly think about the time after that hurtful situation was over. At that moment, did you find yourself stronger? In retrospect, the answer almost always is “Yes.” Why is that? What happened?

Aren’t hurtful situations supposed to make you weak?

As our mentor says, “Adversities arrive in our lives to teach us a lesson, if we learn that lesson, those situations go away, and we become stronger and wiser”.

Let’s explore a little more.

An Indian cricket batsman, Cheteshwar Pujara was facing the fierce, fast bowling attack from Australia while playing to “save” a game on the last day of a test cricket match at Gabba, Brisbane. Gabba is one of the hardest places for foreign batsmen to survive fast bowling, let alone doing well. This ground is cleverly called Gabatoir (abattoir – Slaughterhouse). It’s the home for many batsmen’s broken dreams.

Facing what’s arguably the best fast bowling attack in the world, he was hit on his shoulder, on his arm, on his fingers, his chest, on his head…twice. He was clearly hurting. He played through all that hurt and not only saved the game but won it for his country!

His job was clearly not “fun” that day, it was tough, and nobody likes being hit on the head. But he still hung in there and didn’t give up. That’s resilience.

Our mentor submits these 7 ways to handle hurt and more importantly move on after the painful situations in your life.

  1. It’s an opportunity – A hurtful situation is a combination of events in our life that we had decided were not pleasant for us. We respond to these situations from our animal brain, i.e., fight or flight. We want to fight back with the situation or run away. Our mentor says that hurtful situations are an opportunity for us to introspect.

  2. Acceptance – We often struggle to forget about the pain and the suffering. We blame others and complain about how difficult our life is. The reason for the struggle is non-acceptance. Life teaches us to accept things as they come. We should embrace the good and bad aspects of our life with the same level of acceptance. As we accept the pain, the difficult situation, they cease to cause the hurt and trauma.

“I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  1. Non-judgement – We can be non-judgmental only when we start giving up judging ourselves. It’s ok if we have not been perfect or have blamed or complained in the past. Let’s move on! Every day is a fresh start. Let go of all the struggles of the past and start with a non-judgmental view of ourselves.
  2. Learn the lesson – Every situation in our life teaches us something; we just need to identify the lesson. God doesn’t send difficult situations to hurt us; God sends the difficult situations, so we learn our lesson and move towards him. If the same situation keeps presenting itself in our lives, it’s a sign that we haven’t learned the lesson that life is trying to teach us through that situation. Let’s ask ourselves, “what’s the lesson.” not “what did I do wrong” or “why does it keep happening to me.”

Buddha says, “When it hurts – Observe. Life is trying to teach you something”.

  1. Try not to hurt others – Be gentle and kind in your relationships. Simple acts of respect towards others may not mean much to you, but they mean the world to them. For example – When someone cooks a meal for you, and you don’t like it. Be nice still. Appreciate! They have put in so much effort in cooking; it is that effort you are appreciating, not the food. Be thankful that you have the food on the table. It’s so simple to make someone feel appreciated.

  2. Take responsibility – It’s time to take responsibility for our own attitude. Nobody is responsible for our own happiness but ourselves. Let’s make a simple decision; let’s commit to always moving on and not getting hung up on the pain. Life is like a flow; it goes on, we should allow our mind to move on too.

“Don’t ask why people keep hurting you. Ask yourself why you are allowing it to happen” – Buddha.

  1. Surrender – Sometimes in life, we experience intense hurt, a significant amount of pain, and it is hard to see anything positive or understand any lesson behind such a tough situation. These situations test us the most; they even shake up our beliefs. There is only one way to handle such hurtful situations, surrender. Practice the art of letting go and allowing God to heal. Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “Let go and Let God.” It’s a simple but profound statement of letting God take over the control of our life. Giving up control can seem scary and disempowering, but this technique always results in us feeling stronger than ever before.

To conclude, everybody faces hurtful situations in life, only a few are able to move beyond them and build a life that is in the service of others. Our mentor teaches us simple, practical ways to move beyond the pain and presents to us a new way of living which is full of joy, introspection, learning, love and respect.

This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. Bhawna chitkara

    I have no words to express praise for this article..we don’t know how to handle the sitution when someone hurts us.but this article really cleared all the doubts…very very nice article .big thanks to our mentor?????

  2. Poonam chugh

    Guru Bhagwan ji v Gurumaa ji ko hirdey ki gahraioo se dandvat pranam h ?‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️
    Aap sab jante h ki hum sab aapke ladle bachoo ko chotti chotti battoo se hurt hota h . Hum anjane mai ego se mil kar karm bada lete h . Guru ji aapne sab point bahut sunder bataye , aapki kirpa se jivan mai lag jaye ?
    or humara bhav sudh rahey . Aapke nishkam prem ke anant anant shukrane h ???

  3. Supriya

    Apke anant Anant tahedil se sukrane h bhagwan ji is article k liye.?

  4. Sarita Mittal

    गुरु भगवान जी एवं गुरु मां को कोटि कोटि प्रणाम ?? गुरु भगवान जी हमें इस समय में में भी इतना हल्का किया हुआ है कि कोई भय नहीं रहता होता है तो कुछ ही समय में मन ठीक भी हो जाता है गुरु के वचनों को याद कर लेते हैं तो हर परिस्थिति में गुरु के वचन याद आ जाते हैं सब गुरु भगवान जी की कृपा है हर पल शुकराना मानते हुए बीते बस यही गुरु भगवान जी से प्रार्थना है अनन्त अनन्त शुक्राने है गुरु भगवान जी ?? एवं गुरु मां जी के

  5. Anju Rana

    Guru Ji this article is of great use as constantly we face this problem. All the seven points are worth emulating… and shall certainly make us rise from hurt. Thank you Bhagwan ji for guiding us at every stage.

    1. Rita sehgal

      It is only by the grace of our Guru Bhagwanji and Gurumaa we could learn that nobody is responsible for our happiness but we.Thankyou Guru Bhagwanji for teaching us to intro spect and find that everybody’s pain is the same.You have only taught us to love and respect ourselves and respect others to become strong to face hurtful situations,let go ,do our best and leave the rest to God.Thankyou So much for your divine love and right guidance.??

  6. Sonia

    Guru bhagwan ji Guru maa ji ko vandan hai ?
    Bahut hi acha laikh hai is se hame situation ko handle karne mai bahut help milegi
    Aapke prem v karuna k anant anant shukrane hain ?

  7. Ritu bajaj

    We face hurt many times in life but we didn’t know how to combat it or tackle it. From this article we learnt the power of acceptance and surrender and to not to hurt others.Also we should face any adverse situation that come in our way.Guru bhagwan ji aur Guru Maa ji ke anant shukrane ??

  8. Manish namdeo

    राधे राधे भगवान जी, भगवान जी आपके अनंत अनंत शुकराने हैं, जो इस टॉपिक पर हम लोगों को कृतार्थ कियाl भगवान जी आज के समय में हमारा अहंकार इतना ज्यादा है कि हम हर छोटी-छोटी चीज पर हर्ट हो जाते हैं तथा उनको अपने हृदय में लगाकर, मन में बिठाकर उसी का चिंतन करते रहते हैंl
    आपकी यह वाणी ब्लॉक के माध्यम से हम सभी लोगों में पॉजिटिविटी तथा हर चीज को सहज भाव में लेने में बहुत मददगार होगी आपके अनंतानंद शुकराने भगवान जीl

  9. Shikha Bansal

    Guru bhagwan ji ke anant anant shukrane hai
    Jo humhe har situation ko handle karna batate hai
    Jesi situation ho vese hi apneaap ko mold karna aana chayiye
    Guru bhagwan ji ke kripa se kaphi change hai
    Guru bhagwan ji ke anant anant shukrane hai ??

  10. swati

    Guru Bhagwanji and Guru Maa ji ke shree charno mein barambaar naman hai .
    its such a wonderful article clearing all the doubts , resistance and thus bringing a lot of peace and happiness .
    its YOUR precious guidance , unconditional love , untiring efforts that help us to rise over emotional ,weakening world that grows so enormous inside , YOUR hand of love brings us out and draws our focus from me to selfless service of all .
    millions of thanks from the very bottom of my heart .
    he naath aapko ek pal bhi na bhuloon .

  11. Geeta

    Really …..GURU BHAGWAN JI… Aap ji ne hi har situation me survive karna sikhaya h…Aap ji ne hi lakshya per drishti karwai…..Aap ji ne hi judgement ki habit sudhari ……
    Aap ji k anant anant shukrane ???????

  12. Anu

    We face hurtful situations in our life.with the help of this article we will able to face these situations.
    Thanks to our mentor.for this article.

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