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There was a man who was always happy. When somebody asked him the secret of his happiness, he replied, “By grace of God, when I get up in the morning, I have two choices before me, either I can be happy or unhappy the whole day. I prefer the first choice !” The article you are going to read explains the steps we should take to accept ourselves, others and all life situations unconditionally.

Here are some questions to ponder upon-

• Why do unhappy events stay in the mind ?
• Why are we haunted by those episodes in our lives which leave us grief-stricken, frustrated, resentful, hurt, guilty or upset and not by those which leave us happy and contented ?
• Why Across the mind’s screen, unpleasant images of the past flash by more often than happy, fulfilled, pleasant ones ?

Perhaps the keys lies in the word “FULFILLED”. Fulfillment implies “COMPLETION”. It refers to something that is over, finished, with no loose ends. In today’s computer jargon, that file would be said to be ‘closed’.

God has given each one of us a priceless Super computer called “Brain”. Let us try to understand functioning of “Our Brain”. It is quite similar to working of our computer. We need to click the mouse on the filename if we wish to open it. Otherwise the file is safely tucked away inside the folder, somewhere. Similar is the case with our brain, here also there are many opened files in the mental computer. However, the numerous haunting memories continue as ‘current’ files. Something in each one of them remains to be finished.

Now, let us try to understand what is it that needs to be finished or completed in order to close that file-

• AN APOLOGY: It may well be an apology that was due.
• UNWILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT: It could also be unwillingness on our part to accept a loss.
• FORGIVENESS: It may be forgiving someone or our self.
• DENYING THE REALITY: It may well be that, a part of the mind continues to deny the reality of a particular event.
• UNWILLING TO LET GO: It can be unwillingness to “Let Go” the past incidences from our memory bank.
• RESISTANCE TO CHANGE: It can be resistance to change our opinion, perception, viewpoint, and attitude.

With each ounce of resistance, the episode nags us even more with his haunting presence. At times it happens that we are not aware of this fact. When we receive proper guidance, we are able to rise above this situation easily. Sometimes, the situation becomes more alarming when we are aware of such feeling but are unable to get rid of them. Even the slightest feeling of regret about a past event is enough to bring it periodically into our focus.

Whatever is the case, that unimportant file is always open in the mental computer screen. We can, at best, minimize those files. But they get restored with a mere touch on the mind’s button. And all those unwanted emotions sweep through the mind, creating havoc within us.

As sole operators of the ‘files’ that trouble us, we have it in our power to ‘complete’ those files and delete them, too.

We will have to embrace the loss, be it of a person, possession or our own self-image. Far more important than any external manifestation of our closing that file, a mere verbal apology will not complete the file if we are still agitated with resentment, fear or any other emotion. Here, FAITH works wonders. With “Firm Faith in GOD and in ourselves” we can easily get courage to reach to completion of the file and we can close the file.

Each one of has his own way for this kind of ‘completion’. Now, here are some beautiful ways to fulfill or complete these files –

• STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD: By grace of our Spiritual Master, we realize our true and eternal relationship with God. This helps us to rise above past memories. To strengthen this beautiful, divine, pure bond we can repeat following affirmations often daily-
• O Lord ! I am yours and you are mine.
• O Lord ! I may not forget you.
• O Lord! May I feel your unconditional love and keep expressing gratitude to you.

These positive affirmations bring magical effect in our life.

Chanting God’s name with love and devotion is also a very beautiful way to strengthen this Divine and Eternal bond.

• FIRM FAITH: Firm faith in God as well as in ourselves gives the courage to close the files of past and focus on present.
• RIGHT KNOWLEDGE: Change is inevitable in life. This life is a preparation for going back to God. This knowledge from our Mentor helps us to rise and move ahead in life towards our real goal i.e. God realization.
• UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: Love with conditions makes us irritated and miserable. Love without conditions sets us free.
• CONFESSION: When we speak out our feelings related to our past to Our Mentor or to God or to person concern, it is also very helpful in closing the past memory files from our mental computer.
• FORGIVENESS: Forgiving the person as well as ourselves is a great way to release the past and move ahead in life.
• MINDFULNESS: On our mental screen many thoughts are displayed, when we learn this art to choose our thoughts mindfully, our life becomes easier.
• CONSCIOUS ACCEPTANCE: Total conscious acceptance is the key to complete or fulfill the past memory file and close it.
• HAVING A BIG GOAL IN LIFE: When we have a big goal of God realization/ Self-realization and sense of selfless service than our focus changes.
• SELFLESS SERVICE: The one who is constructively busy in serving God/ Nation/ humanity has no time left to dwell in the past.
• PRESENT MOMENT AWARENESS: When we learn to live in the present moment by being in our Self, we are the seer of all the thoughts coming in our mind. This Present Moment Awareness helps us to detach our self from all thoughts.

All these are different ways of telling those open files to close. Our BRAIN is one computer that never shuts down. Not even when we sleep. Our troubled dreams testify to that.

CONCLUSION

So each time you are haunted by an unpleasant memory, recognize that it is your inner self’s way of pointing to you the unfinished business that you still have. It is up to you to make use of the present to close the past.